blink. open your eyes.

I have never felt so betrayed in my life. The feeling is just so intense, that I might as well call it being ‘backstabbed’. I feel like a druggie that just can’t stop. Every time I walk into rehab and stay sober for a little while, I come out and end up doing the same thing again. The feeling is addicting, and every time I get hurt all over again.

This is off-topic, but I finally found out how to make a “Read More” section in a post! I’m still not very use to the functions on WordPress, so all I can entertain myself with is Bold, Italics, etc. So “Read More” cuts also mean my entries will look less boring! Yay! I know I tend to type a lot of tl;dr content, so hopefully the appeal of my blog will change for the better.

Back on topic.. Betrayed and Backstabbed:

I have a friend.. who I would claim to be my best friend, but now, I do not really know. I am not the greatest person when it comes to relationships or friendships, but I do try my best to maintain a healthy one. I will refer to my best friend as “Melody”.

In my group of peers, I would say Melody is my best friend, because literally, she is the best of all my friends. We understand each other, we can talk at ease, Melody brings out a lot of my real qualities, and Melody makes me happy as a friend. I always tell myself that I should be thankful that there is even a friend like her who exists. However, over the past year, I can see that Melody has changed. I have to admit that her changes have been for the benefit of her, but it is opposite of me. I try to pay all the attention I can to her, and listen to every thing she tells me and try to give her the best advice. Somehow, it never seems to be enough. Suddenly, I feel so disregarded because on some days she would not even acknowledge my presence. Because of this, I was hurt. I told myself I might as well become that cold-hearted bitch that was in my all along.

The way she treats me is on-and-off. One day she would hang out with my like nothing happened and we were the very best friends, and the next, I would not even see her. I understand that every one has their own right to act and feel however they wish, but it would at least be nice if she could show a little sympathy. I would understand if we were not close friends to start with, but this is actually years of friendship that we have shared.

There have been a few times when I would see her true motives, but I won’t go into any detail.